COLLAPSABLE
by Sequizurx
Summary: After 'decorating' the school hall for the dance himself, Axel knew it would be well worth attending. Even if he did have 'the crazy girl' as his last minute date... AU, Axel x Alice
1. glitter

**-**

**one  
glitter**

-

The dance was **love-themed**.

Red and pink tissue paper hearts were strategically superglued to every available surface, with sparkly sequins and glitter scattered across the tables and chairs so that whenever anybody paused from dancing to sit down they would instantly suffer an uncomfortable itching feeling.

Or at least, that was the plan. Axel mocked every last inch of the dance because that was what it was there for. Without all the destructive criticism and mockery, the dance might get a higher attendance rate and more people would boast about how totally awesome it was and how they saw so-and-so making out with Riku underneath the drinks table (which wouldn't have been a very wise thing to do anyway, as an awful lot of glitter was sprinkled under there).

He didn't want to listen to all the rumours and edited versions of events that had occurred beneath the seductive disco lights after high intakes of supposedly non-alcoholic punch. He didn't care about who passed out first, or who danced with who (although it was not so much dancing as it was a pack of gyrating bodies holding full glasses up in the air out of harm's way during the uncomfortably intimate partying).

Axel didn't give a damn about all the meaningless whatthefuckery that might be the topic of gossip for the weeks following the dance.

The **love-themed** dance.

He emptied another jar of glitter over some flimsy white chairs perched delicately around some collapsable tables on one side of the room. He smirked as he pictured them buckle beneath the unconcious body of a drunken teenager. Part of him wished he _could_ go to the dance, if just to see that happen.

But he couldn't. Because the dance was **love-themed**.

He began loosening some screws on the collapsable legs of the drinks table. As it had to hold a vast variety of nibbles (cheese puffs, cheese puffs and more cheese puffs) and refreshments ("homemade" punch with soggy wrinkled lemons floating on the surface) rather than a few meagre paper cups or teenage elbows, the drinks table was longer and wider, and would create a much, much bigger impact come its demise.

For his next trick, Axel tugged out one of the pins from the long, heavy piece of red material covering up the events noticeboard (heaven forbid anyone should spot it and tack "rude notices" to the cork during a drunken, or even sober, stupor) and plunged it straight down the centre of a stack of paper cups. After studying both the top and the bottom cups of the pile, he was satisfied that he had pierced an unnoticable but still readily existant hole through the bases of all of them. He hoped steady rivulets of murky red punch managed to trickle through the escape routes and transform some traditional girly (meaning strapless, backless and virtually skirt-less) dresses into soggy wrecks, causing high-pitched outcries of "oh my god, you've _ruined_ it, you bitch!"

Not that Axel was a bitch; if he _had_ to be an animal he'd rather it was a shark, a giant bird with a pokey-pokey-pokey beak, or a dolphin, as they were the only other animals besides humans who participated in "the physical act of love" for more than just baby-making. Nor would he have ruined anything, as it was the party-goers' own faults if they chose to fill up the newly-punctured paper cups and wave them over their bodies on the way to their lips. And besides, he wouldn't even _be_ there to take the blame, so the flabbergasted teens with "ruined" prom-wear would simply have to make do with using their nearest and dearest (or just complete strangers who happened to wander past) as scapegoats for their grief.

Axel folded his arms smugly across his chest. When Miss Gainsborough had put Axel in charge of decorating the hall for the dance, she had made a very good decision. She had asked him to make everything "brilliant". And brilliant it would be.

Even if it was **love-themed**.

-

**a/n: **yay! this is my latest "great idea", which, if it is like the rest of my "great ideas", will turn out to be not-so-great. It should be a short-ish ficlet, meaning not too long, but not too short either. actually, if you really want to know, i have absolutely no idea how long it's going to be. so there you have it. enjoy!


	2. vodka

-

**two  
vodka**

-

Nobody had ever really understood what the fascination was between teenagers and dark alleyways. There was never anything good or worthwhile down any of these alleyways, so it seemed logical to steer clear of them, and yet youths seemed to happily flood down them in large mobs. If any adults ever actually bothered to venture through the gloomy passages, they might have developed more of an understanding, but as it was, none of them ever did. Nor did they have much of a reason to- they was just full of dust and dirt and cobwebs anyway. Down one alleyway in particular, however, there was a small building with a lot of light leaking through its cardboard-covered windows, unlike the dark, lightless cardboard-covered windows of the small buildings around it.

The teenagers who often, to coin a common phrase, 'hung out' within this stronghold were of the moody, indie-listening, prank-playing dork kind. This meant nothing, of course, except for the fact that should any stronger, cooler, tougher and fitter teenagers decide they wanted the small electricity-savvy building as their own 'hangout', to coin a common phrase, these five weaker, geekier, cowardlier teenagers could probably do absolutely nothing about it. Except shut the door and add an extra layer of paper to the cardboarded windows.

It wasn't a very interesting small building, when you thought about it, but they had declared it their hang-out grounds, to coin a common phrase, and were both very proud and incredibly protective of it. They had decorated it with dorky posters and geeky rugs and other suchlike loser-esque ornaments, and after approximately a week and half of sitting and discussing literature there after chess club, they were practically moved in, and had dubbed it, 'The Usual Spot.'

The five teenagers who spent most of their time in 'The Usual Spot' were all pretty much social rejects. There was the fat one, who wasn't actually that fat, but in a town where everybody had stick-thin limbs and gigantic hands and feet, he was never going to fit in. Then there was the one who was obsessed with fighting and camoflage-print clothes, and liked to pretend that he was in the army. Then there was the moody emo one with spiky blond hair that was shaped like a pineapple, and in a town where all anybody ate were pretzels, melons and sea-salt ice cream, fruit was just Not Cool. Then there was the only girl, who was actually rather pretty and sensible, but had the dorkiest fringe in the history of dorky fringes, as well as insanely curly hair, despite her fringe being as straight as a ruler.

The last member of their interesting little club was slightly different to the rest of them in more than one way. He was a lot taller, several years older, and had bright red hair that stuck out of his head like a porcupine. He also wore too much 'guy-liner', which was just 'eyeliner' but with 'guy' replacing 'eye', just in case anybody accidentally mistook the 'guys' who used 'guy-liner' for 'girls' using 'eyeliner'.

He also liked to make dramatic entrances, such as coming in late to any exciting group meetings the gang decided to arrange. Just that morning, Olette had specifically mentioned that everybody had to go to 'The Usual Spot' at exactly half past eight. And so everybody did. Except for Axel, who walked in at exactly half past nine clutching a bottle of vodka and dragging his on-again, off-again, part-time, sometimes-maybe, when-I-feel-like-it, if-I'm-horny, when-it-suits-me girlfriend/fuckbuddy behind him.

"Oh, how nice of you to join us," Hayner rolled his eyes.

Pence sighed. "Only an_ hour_ later than we agreed."

"Honestly, Axel. Don't you have any timekeeping skills whatsoever?" Olette sighed crossly.

Axel shrugged. "I was busy."

"Busy?" Olette repeated, frowning.

"Well, it obviously wasn't looking in the mirror, because you look like crap!" Hayner exclaimed cheerfully.

"So what _were_ you doing, then?" Roxas enquired.

Axel smirked. "Kairi," he grinned. Kairi, hanging off the redhead's bony waist, started to giggle.

"Oh, Axel!" Olette cried, spotting the girl and jumping up to unhook her from him. "You promised you were going to let her down gently, not let her at your stash of alcohol and trick her into bed!"

Kairi giggled again, far too drunk to comprehend that they were talking about her. Olette helped her onto a nearby chair and told her to stay sat down.

"Dude, that is like, Not Cool," Hayner announced, as if that were some kind of majorly offensive insult that would hit Axel hard. Needless to say, it didn't.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Axel smirked, rolling his eyes. "I forgot that just because none of you can find dates, I'm supposed to pretend like I'm not a hot babe magnet."

Roxas raised his eyebrows. "But you're not," he pointed out. "The only... _babe_... you've ever attracted is Kairi, and... well, you obviously had to buy her several vodka shots first."

"Whatever," Axel shrugged.

"So are you planning on taking her to the dance with you?" Olette wanted to know, frowning at Axel's careless attitude towards his supposed girlfriend.

The redhead shrugged again. "Maybe, maybe not," he replied. "I wouldn't mind going to the dance, after all... from what I've heard, it sounds like it will be... a lot of fun..."

Pence beamed happily, forgetting about Kairi's sorry state. "I'm sure it will!" he exclaimed with merriment.

Hayner groaned. "Oh, for Christ's sake, Axel, you've set him off again," he complained.

Axel grinned slyly. "Well, I'm sorry for looking forward to something," he said. "I thought you'd be pleased I was feeling optimistic for once."

Olette smiled weakly. "Yeah, yeah, we are," she nodded politely.

Roxas frowned, wondering what his best friend was up to. He knew Axel better than any of the rest of them, and he could tell that something was just Not Cool, to coin a common phrase, although by now I have coined so many common phrases that the budget for this story will not allow me to continue this chapter any longer.

"Yep yep yep!" Pence squealed merrily. "The dance is gonna be great!"

-

**a/n: **woahhh. it's been like... nearly eight months since my last update. woahhh. more in progress, i guarentee you this ficlet WILL be finished... eventually. because skitts and the weasels said so.


End file.
